for all the world to see

Each step gets us a little  closer---I know we told you we were all set just waiting for the phone to ring---and that is true---but there are so many other steps that actually happen that we are learning as we go along....one is us being posted on the agency's website for potential birthmom's to preview.  Well, as of today, we are officially on the website.  I dropped off our profile books to the agency yesterday, got a reading list from Doris and DVD's to watch in preparation and NOW we just sit back and wait for the phone to ring--I don't think there are any other steps we need to do---if we do, we don't know what they are! 

We are trying to stay calm---and get our house to-do list complete because who knows when we will have the energy to paint rooms and do minor construction again?  I'm trying to get my address book squared away, and in the meantime solve world peace. (sarcasm). We have a really long to do list and who knows what will and will not get done?? but who cares????

so as we go into the holiday season, don't just pray for us, pray for the birthmother  that is carrying our child that she is safe, healthy and at peace with her decision to place her child with adoption.  Praying for her will lead her to us.

now just waiting for the phone to ring!

We had our final meeting/interview with the adoption agency Tuesday morning ---so we are now officially just waiting for the phone to ring to let us know we have a baby waiting for us or a mother who wants to meet us!!!!!!!!   Paperwork is complete, interviews are complete------and now the wait begins!  Wow! this is exciting!

We got new phones over the holiday weekend (a Thanksgiving/Buffalo tradition) and promptly assigned a new ring tone to the agency's # so we make SURE we know when they are calling and can drop everything when it happens.  hear what we chose here.   I'm sure I will be in some meeting with buyers one day when the Sesame Street Theme begins to play---but I can't WAIT to hear that tune!

While in Buffalo for Thanksgiving, Matthew's mom doted us with gifts--and the greatest gift ever is the rocking chair that she rocked all of her babies and grandbabies in and now wants us to rock our baby in---what an amazing gift!

Matthew and I also visited a few Buffalo locations that are true Buffalo----like the Sabres arena where the Buffalo Sabres Hockey team play and now our new baby will be ready to be an instant Sabres fan! 

One other Buffalo institution is the Anchor Bar--where Buffalo Wings were invented.   They have a cute gift shop where you can buy little stuffed Buffalo's with wings--so of course, our new baby HAS to have one of those! 

Grandpa

Many of you may know that my Dad has been battling cancer/Lymphoma this past year.  He has been in aggressive treatments all year and lots of praying going on too.  He has been a trooper during these treatments and my Mom too being right there at his side the whole journey.  Well, something worked, because he just got news that his body is CANCER FREE!  He had MRI and bone marrow tests and came back "clean as a whistle".  As you can imagine, we are thrilled to pieces.  And our soon-to-be baby will have healthy grandpa to play with and adore for many many years.  Thank you all for your prayers and well wishes.  We love you Dad.

Salem can't wait for baby either!

When it is quiet in the house, I get nervous---means the cats are up to something. So I went hunting for Salem--and look where I found him!!!!

our first baby gift!

Peggi works with 3 of the coolest ladies in the world--the Customer Service Team at Sabic Innovative Plastics Specialty Film and Sheet in Pittsfield, MA.  As the Lexan Sheet Specialist at Piedmont Plastics, my job is to be a liason between the two companies, so let's just say I talk with these women more than most family members!  They too have been following along on our adoption journey because they are like family.  Ironically, one of the women's husband graduated from University of Maine Orono and her daughter is hoping to attend there next fall so they have been visiting recently. On her most recent trip for Homecoming weekend, she picked up this adorable UMaine Bear and baby socks for our soon-to-be baby!!  I LOVE IT!!! 

Another Step Closer

Today we had our Home Study Home Visit where our Social Worker, Kim, comes to the house to make sure everything is "safe" to have a baby. And a good way to get the house cleaner than normal and those little things fixed that have been on "the list" for a while.  All smoke detectors working, fire extinguisher filled, etc.

She also emphasized again that we are under contract to not tell anyone when we are placed with a baby for 7 days.  This is the "legal risk" period of when the birthmother may change her mind.  It is also a chance for the baby to react and get comfortable with us as we will be strangers to him/her since he/she didn't hear our voices, etc during pregnancy.  It is going to be hard for me not to shout it to the world---but it is best for everyone and agency policy....so don't be offended when we delay in telling you!!! 

I think we passed the Home Study---next is to complete our Profile Book and Dear Birthmother Letter...meet with the Director of the agency and then WAIT for the phone to ring!!!!!!!!

Now all we need is a baby!

After a day or 2 of deliberation, we came to the conclusion that we DID have all of the necessary parts!  See, we bought this crib on Craigslist, came home and had no idea how to put it together! 2 people with no children and don't know how to put together a crib! They had the extra parts to convert to a toddler bed attached, and we were stumped!  Alas, finally, we figured it out!   Paddington and Raggedy Ann were quite happy too!

My Mom made us all (me, Mindy, JoAnn) Paddington Bears and Raggedy Ann dolls when we were kids. I've been carrying mine around for YEARS waiting to let my child play with it...finally the day is coming soon for that to happen.  I also have a cradle that my dad made me when I was a kid--I still even have the scary looking doll that I played with...I think the doll may go (looks way too much like Chuckie in the movie), but the cradle will stay. If we have a boy, then the cradle becomes an arc or a big boat.  We are waiting on bedding and theme until we find out if boy or girl.

Adoption 101

Part of the requirements with our Adoption Agency is to attend 2 weekend workshops. This weekend was workshop #1 called "Adoption 101."  We went Friday night for 2 hours, then all day Saturday. What was great was meeting other families going thru the same thing we are. There were about 70 total people attending--and from all stages to just putting in pre application to just brought baby home 9 weeks ago and all stages in between.


Our agency, Christian Adoption Agency, works only in NC so it was good to meet and network with families that are relatively close by. We were able to share books we are reading, pediatrician info, what to do and not to do during the Home Study, etc.  It was nice to make some new friends! We exchanged emails and will keep up with each other's progress. 


The "workshop" part of it was a speaker coming in and addressing many of the "challenges" adoptive families may face from interaction with birth mothers, transracial adoption, how to handle identity issues with the child as they get older, attachment issues as an adoptive family, etc....it was a good weekend and we came away armed with some new and great info and a few new friends to boot!

Positive Adoption Language/Phrases

Matthew and I are hoping for a semi-open adoption. This means that we will have some contact with the biological mother of our child---and stay in contact with her hopefully forever.  This is a "new" concept for most people and quite scary to some as well.  However, it is so much more healthy for the child and the biological mother to have contact.  The identity crisis' are alleviated, the mother knows her baby is being taken care of, and we have a source when questions arise of health issues/etc.

Also a "new concept" is Adoption Language.  Simple words have a huge impact on the life of an adopted child---below is an excerpt from Adoptive Families Magazine that is simple variations of phrases we may not realize we say and how we say them and the impact they have ......so here is a lesson in Adoption Language ......

The way we talk—and the words we choose—say a lot about what we think and value. When we use positive adoption language, we say that adoption is a way to build a family just as birth is. Both are important, but one is not more important than the other.


Choose the following positive adoption language instead of the negative talk that helps perpetuate the myth that adoption is second best. By using positive adoption language, you’ll reflect the true nature of adoption, free of innuendo.Words not only convey facts, they also evoke feelings. When a TV movie talks about a "custody battle" between "real parents" and "other parents," society gets the wrong impression that only birthparents are real parents and that adoptive parents aren’t real parents. Members of society may also wrongly conclude that all adoptions are "battles."


Positive adoption language can stop the spread of misconceptions such as these. By using positive adoption language, we educate others about adoption. We choose emotionally "correct" words over emotionally-laden words. We speak and write in positive adoption language with the hopes of impacting others so that this language will someday become the norm.


Positive Language  VS  Negative Language


Birthparent .........................................Real parent
Biological parent ..................................Natural parent
Birth child ..........................................Own child
My child ............................................Adopted child; Own child
Born to unmarried parents .......................Illegitimate
Terminate parental rights .........................Give up
Make an adoption plan............................ Give away
To parent ...........................................To keep
Waiting child....................................... Adoptable child; available child
Biological or birthfather........................... Real father

Making contact with................................ Reunion
Parent ................................................Adoptive parent
Adoption triad....................................... Adoption triangle
Child placed for adoption .........................An unwanted child
Was adopted........................................ Is adopted

it's starting to feel real!

During our first visit with Kim, our Case Worker, she suggested we start getting the nursery sort of ready---with at least the basics--and a car seat---because you never know when we are going to get "the call"--so we went out and purchased the car seat/stroller today!!! Looking has always been one thing---but we actually BOUGHT it this time!!!  I also recently re-finished a gorgeous almost antique dresser and painted it for the nursery to be also used as changing table.  I love the color called "sour lime".  Slowly, the guest bedroom is looking like a nursery.  It is slowly becoming real and less of something that will happen "one day". 

We had our first vist with both Matthew and I, Matthew also had his one-on-one. I still have my one-on-one and then she comes to our home for an inspection.  THEN we should be ready to be presented to mothers and the real nail biting begins!

Little Squirt and Big Squirt

My dad's been known as "Squirt" since at least High School-----Mindy sent this picture of a onesie that Jack has and can't wait to hand it down---I can't wait to get my dad a shirt saying "big Squirt" for the best Grandpa/Grandchild picture ever!

it's getting real now!

I received  a call yesterday from our SOCIAL WORKER!!!!  Yep, we are assigned our social worker now from the adoption agency, and her name is Kim. That means that our Home Study has officially begun!  Kim is the person that gives us the stamp of approval that we are fit to be parents ......if only everyone had to go thru this process, there would be a lot fewer unwanted babies in this world...but I digress.   The Home Study process takes approximately 3 months to complete. The Social Worker interviews us EXTENSIVELY both together and individually and then does a home inspection. She then completes a report that becomes our official O.K.into the Adoption world..basically, we can't do ANYTHING until we are Home Study approved.  After the Home Study is complete, our profile will begin to be shown to mothers and the wait begins.  Our first meeting with her is the afternoon of  Monday, Sept 7th.  The nerves have officially taken over.  Wish us luck!

Baby Classes

As part of the requirements for the adoption agency, we have to take classes to prepare us for parenthood. One such class is Infant CPR.  Even if not required, it is a good class to take and we are very glad that we did and we had a lot of fun.  We took the class at local hospital and they also offered "Taking Care of Baby" class with it which we took as well. It went over how to change diapers, what to expect for feeding, how to give baby a bath, what to expect the hours after delivery---the nurse who taught it was great and make it a point to include us as adoptive parents as to the differences and similarities that we will face at the hospital.  See Matthew giving baby mannequin CPR and changing a diaper.  He did a GREAT job!

Let the adoption process begin!

For those that don't know, Matthew and I are pursuing the adoption of a domestic born infant to add to our family or a new flower in our garden patch. We are very excited. We wanted to start this blog to keep our friends and family updated on the progress of our wonderful journey.

Matthew and I have finally completed our miles of paperwork for our adoption and are ready to begin the journey!  A social worker will be assigned to us shortly now that we have our paperwork all submitted.  We are working with the agency Christian Adoption Services out of Matthews, NC.  Ironically, the directors of the agency went to University of Maine Orono just like I did!  You can visit them at http://www.christianadopt.org/   they also have a blog with all of the babies they have placed (which I check daily!) showing they are pretty active--placing approximately a baby a week.  We just can't wait for our family to be posted on their blog!  Their blog is http://www.christianadoptionservices.blogspot.com/

There may be a lot of "nothing" for a while---but I will try and pepper it with adoption facts, info, etc along the way. The homestudy process takes approximately 2 months to complete. Then the REAL journey begins!  It isn't til after the Homestudy is complete and we are approved as "fit potential parents" until we are presented to mothers who have decided to pursue an adoption plan for their child.

So strap yourselves in, tighten your seatbelts and join us for the ride!

Practice Makes Perfect

Today we babysat a friend's 8-month old baby girl, Maxine. We could only hope our baby is half as good of a baby as she is.  We had a fun afternoon!